This talk is about human learning and the soul’s development. Why are some people born with innate understandings about the world, while others have to learn? Why does life throw the same situation at us over and over again? How do we process what we learn from these experiences, and what does it mean for our energetic blueprint, the state of our spiritual self? Article is accompanied by to a candid audio snippet by Lisa Arrington, discussing perceptions, childhood and the multi-dimensional ways of the world.
Listen to the audio:
When I was a child, I’d always look at my mother with an understanding that she was her own person. Even before I was taught that our parents are people with their own set of hopes, challenges, fears and dreams, I understood that her actions and behaviors were not because of anything I did. Little me understood that my mom had a mother before her who loved her, who had a mother before her, and so on. In my heart, I knew that loving your child is a natural part of motherhood—it’s just part of the role. It never had to be demonstrated to me that a mother should love their child. These two understandings – that my mom’s personal choices were intendent from her love for me – helped me separate my self-worth from my life’s circumstances. I focused on the love I was getting from my mom, without wondering if the bouts of domestic abuse I witnessed were because of me or without thinking that mommy didn’t love me because she drank. I understood there were other things at play that didn’t involve me like how her day at work was, the financial stresses she was dealing with, things from her own childhood, or her need to feel loved.
During difficult times or when I was upset, I never blamed her or perceived her actions inwardly like, “I did something wrong so that’s why this happened.” I never thought things like, “I wasn’t good enough” or “Things are bad right now, so there must be something wrong with me.” Because of the innate distinction between my mom’s personal choices and my mom’s maternal choices. I’m not going to say that my kid self didn’t affect my mother’s actions at all. I had my share of behavioral issues and trouble that surely challenged her patience and sanity. But I always knew that things like the boyfriends she dated were not a reflection of my self-worth. The arguments I overheard had nothing to do with any inadequacies or wrongdoings on my behalf. Her actions, such as who she dated or how she spent her evenings on the phone in an attempt to feel connected to friends and family (she was a single mother who was tight on money, so hiring a babysitter or going out after a full day at work wasn’t do-able), never made me think she didn’t love me, because of the embedded understandings I was born with.
I never blamed myself, but I also never blamed her. I didn’t place blame anywhere, actually. I never felt the need to. And let me tell you, these were definitely things that a normal person would quickly cast blame! That is how the world should be: not quick to anger or feeling the urge to blame. We shouldn’t feel the need to point the finger because, why? Why does blaming someone matter? Getting justice is one thing, but casting blame to suffice your personal anger is something entirely different. I was never angry about my situation even when I should’ve been.
It puzzles me because I was so young, but somehow saw things with this clarity. People spend thousands of dollars on self-help books, life coaches, and alternative healing courses to soothe their anger and stop their pain. Yet here I was, barely in first grade, already seeing these things. Things like how someone else’s action has no bearing on your reaction. Or how to disseminate between one’s negative perception of a situation and how it reflects on one’s self-image and self-worth. I’d like to better understand why, so I can help other people get there. We don’t have to wait ‘til we’re in our twenties to begin having these understandings. That’s not “just how the world works” and that’s it.
Why are some people born into the world without this understanding and it takes them decades to learn this, when other people seem to know it instinctively?
It’s like a piece of sacred wisdom was imprinted on my soul and embedded into my DNA. For whatever reason, I came to earth already aware of these things. Whether it’s a case of being an “old soul” or it’s knowledge from relevant incarnations, I’m not sure. But it’s not purely genetic or physical. There are things that are so primal and so embedded in us that they’re from a much higher level.
Can we be born with a higher degree of self-love? Is it something that is from instinct, common sense, conscious-related, or simple psychology?
There are so many dimensions and depths to things, which all vary in degree and salience. You don’t learn a lesson once and “ta da,” you’ve full comprehended it and understand if 100%. That’s impossible because this world is multi-dimensional, and your conscious perception is in a constant state of change. To cement a lesson into your core, unchanging self requires experiencing it multiple times in multiple ways. Even the abstract concepts we talk about are entangled in a web of interconnectivity with our common knowledge, feelings, and beliefs. How something is understood changes depending on who you’re talking about it with and when (e.g., their mood, what’s going on in their lives, current stage in understanding, their willingness to learn, etc.). There are so many degrees to things, and we’re all meant to learn things differently in our own unique way. That’s why we have to experience things in different ways; in different shapes and forms. To some people, this can feel like life is dealing you the same cards over and over. Like you can’t catch a break.
When we feel like life keeps hitting us with the same situation over and over again, like a time in your life where you’ve thought, “Wow… when it rains, it pours”, you’re not unlucky or unfortunate. The crappy emotions we have during these times are misleading and can overpower what really matters. It’s easy to forget that you’re not the same person you were before. You’ve evolved from who you were the first time that life threw these challenges at you. You’re actually upgrading with each experience you have. You also never perceive things in the exact way you did the first time, so there is meaning and something new to be realized by going through it again.
After the situation is over and you’ve realized another degree of the lesson at-hand, you subconsciously integrate everything into yourself over the next months or even years. It takes a while for all the lessons, pain, and excitement to settle and be processed. This integration enhances your energy blueprint and can even lead to better physical health since your body functions in a series of electric pulses and chemical codes that tell your organs what to do and when. It affects your biofield, the electromagnetic energy your body produces, and gets integrated into your aura to make up who you are. It makes your soul more complete. By the time you’re confronted with the same circumstances in life again and another series of events unfolds, you’re now braving the storm with a different, improved mindset. Sometimes it’s so subtle that you may not notice it in the moment. Or sometimes you’re too distracted by the highs and lows of the situation, so your mental mind only focuses on the emotion you feel—usually, it’s a feeling from resisting whatever’s going on in some way. It can completely blind us from the important evolutionary progress we’re making.
What’s the point of going through the same thing multiple times? It’s how we’re designed to learn. Situations are multi-dimensional just like the human body and life itself is.
Situation number 1, the first time you go through an event, it’s a learning experience. You’re freshly encountering a set of circumstances and learn to deal with the physical, emotional, and mental factors of that—and all the variables, potential outcomes, etc. involved. Then, life goes on until you’re confronted by situation number 2. It’s the same situation, but the second time you’re experiencing (perceiving) it. It uses the same principles or requires the same course of action as before. But this time, you’re further along in the course of your life. You’ve had time to integrate all of the feelings, emotions, pains, realizations and lessons from the first time you went through it. All of this gets applied to your inner self and has been used to upgrade your perception. Your new perception enables you to things with a fuller view and clearer lens. You, the energy you give off, the way your body functions, and your beliefs have evolved from the first time and adapted to prepare you for this moment. You’re operating on a different level. So, you’re not really facing the same situation again because you are not the same. On the surface, the lesson you’re learning might be the same, but it will be a new degree, depth or dimension of it. This is how we truly master something.
A note about Inner Child Healing:
When you were a toddler, you looked to your parents as being “mommy” and “daddy” – nothing more. As you got older, you started becoming aware of your parents’ social life, for instance, and realized that they had emotions and doubts just like you do. They have their own personal driving force; the things that make them tick. As a kid, you might’ve interpreted their action as a direct result of you or something you did. You might feel a sense of blame for your parent’s divorce even today, for example. While you logically understand now that there were other factors involved in a decision like divorce and that you weren’t to blame, Little you processed the divorce using the perception you had at the time. Your conscious self knows it wasn’t your fault, but the original feelings that Little you had have lingered and become deep-seeded over the years. Those emotions will linger until they are healed properly, no matter how much your mental mind knows that the guilt is misplaced. It has to be healed.
Your perception creates your reality.
Perception is important because it’s how you see the world; it affects your choices, behaviors, and views. Perception, what we perceive, is how we define reality. Essentially, going through something again but with an evolved perception is showing us new depths and dimensions of reality. You’re completing the understanding of yourself and the world around you; filling in the gaps of reality left behind from the first time you learned the lesson to provide a richer understanding.
The first time you experience something, you can’t grasp the entirety of it. You might have the definition of a concept memorize or understand the basics, but to truly know the ins and outs, it requires additional exposure. “Practice makes perfect,” as they say. You don’t realize how many gaps there are in your understanding of something until you’re presented with another opportunity to learn.
Situation number 1 gives us the ground-level basic understanding. Situation number 2 offers the experience to fill in the gaps and fix the imperfections from the first time this wave of information washed over us. The situation will keep happening again and again until you’ve reached a point where you’ve refined yourself enough from the lessons and knowledge gained, and learned whatever it is you’re meant to. Some of us are healing past life baggage, some are breaking karmic cycles, and some are being prepared for future events. Unless you’re just way off track in your life, you’ll never be presented with a bad situation repeatedly without reason or purpose.
It’s like the curing process when making an epoxy tabletop. First, you add the base coat. Then after some time has passed for it to dry, you decorate it with shimmering paint and designs. Finally, you apply the clear resin coat to lock in the design. And there might be some rounds of buffing or sanding it to perfection. In this process, you’re still making the same motions to apply the brushstrokes. You’re still going back to the same physical object (the table) but using different tools or materials for whatever stage of the process you’re on. But you’re adding to it every time. Progressing farther and farther until you reach completion. At the latter stage, the see-through resin allows us to see the beautiful layers of painted art within the table’s surface. You can see the reward of your hard work. This is the point that life tries to get you to in these reoccurring situations. A point of clarity, wholeness, refinement and accomplishment.
With this clarity, there is no subconscious doubt. No feelings of guilt. You can everything clearly. Every layer it took, every imperfection that’s now a part of a perfect whole and look back on the struggles it took to get here with peace and serenity. Things aren’t hidden by a thick layer of top-coat or distorted by something. It’s like looking through glass, where you can see things in total clarity as they are. There’s no bias. Only truth. It’s from this truth that we know how to live and love.
About the Author
Lisa Arrington
Lisa Arrington is a published author, speaker, and the founder the website EtherealSoul.net, the first website dedicated to the journey after a Twin Flame has died. Lisa specializes in the intersection of science and theology, with an interest in embedded connections and universal patterns. Lisa’s story is published in the book, “Rebirth: The Spiritual Evolution that Reunited Two Souls” and she is the creator of the “Twin Flame & Soulmate Grief Support Group“. In her professional life, Lisa is an enterprise Search Engine Optimization (SEO) manager with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration – Marketing and Economics minor from The University of North Carolina in Charlotte. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram @etherealsoul444.
