My Twin Flame Story from Grief to Infinite Love

Written by Kristen S.

The Beginning

Brian and I met in our hometown in the 1990’s, at a supermarket where we both had part-time jobs. I will never forget the first time I saw him. He was in the parking lot pushing carts at the end of his shift. We made eye contact, and although we had never met, I felt like I knew him. Something happened at that moment, something I did not understand and could not name. I have come to know it as soul recognition, but as a teenager in the suburbs of Jersey, I just thought it was weird. I had never experienced anything like it before and remember it like it happened yesterday.

When I started a job at this same supermarket, I noticed that every time he and I made eye contact that sensation of knowing him from somewhere would come back. It was strange and intense but also comforting. As we got to know each other and became friends I was surprised at how comfortable I felt around him. He made me feel so safe. It was strange because I had never felt that way around anyone before. It lasted for about a month or so, and of course I developed a huge crush on him. In that time though, he began dating someone else, which I will say more about later.

Our friendship lasted for years even though we each dated other people and had periods of no contact. During those years, and especially during periods of no contact, we would run into each other in the most random places. Once, while driving through our town, the song The One by Elton John came on the radio. I happened to look up and there he was, driving by. I started to wonder at that point if there was something going on that was beyond both of us and that, perhaps, I needed to let go of trying to figure it out and let it unfold on its own.

To be clear, Brian and I never dated. We had a friendship which blossomed over time into a romantic connection, but we never actually came together as boyfriend and girlfriend. He and I loved talking to each other, and through our many years of friendship, built a foundation of unconditional love. We also fell in love (something he confirmed for me in a song he sent recently) even though a romantic relationship never materialized from it.

We kissed one night when we were young, and it was magical. Something I will never forget, and something he spoke to me about when he visited during sleep time after he died. It was like being in his arms and kissing him was exactly where I was supposed to be and something we should have been doing all along. I loved him and wanted to be with him, but the connection terrified both of us, so we ran from it. I ran from it. I had been the chaser for years, but after our kiss, I became the runner. I left him and we went into separation for about two years.

We eventually came back together, but things had changed. I tried to reconcile with him, but he was not the same person. I would look into his eyes and try to find him, but it was like he was not there. He looked good, physically, and was making plans for his future, but it was like he was no longer connected to his soul. And he was awful to me. He mistreated me, dismissed me, and basically blew me off. It broke my heart, but no matter what I did, I could not reach him, and I could not get us back to where we were. I was devastated, but I chose to let him go and he ended up marrying someone else. It was not over for me, but I could not wait for him any longer. It took me years to get over it, even though I would have visions of him in his life, many of which turned out to be accurate. Eventually I did get over it, so I thought.

I came to realize that I had only burred it.

Unexplainable Synchronicities

Although I did not realize it was the last year of his time here, it turns out that while he was struggling with the breakdown of his marriage and other aspects of his life, I was in the process of entering a new relationship. I have been with my partner since 2018, and about six months into my relationship, I found myself crying so often and so intensely. This was strange for me because I am not much of a crier. But I found myself sobbing day after day, and I began to feel like something more was going on, although I could not name it. At this time I told my partner I wanted to go back to New Jersey to visit my old neighborhood. While we were there, I was overcome by an urge to stop by the supermarket where Brian and I used to work.

We parked the car, went in, and as I walked around, I remembered everything.

I could feel him and see him. I remembered our many conversations, the fun we had, the pain of watching him with someone else, and even one night when he asked me out. It was palpable… I was reliving our whole relationship. I even remembered that I had been having a powerful urge to visit a town in Pennsylvania – something that seemed completely random – but turns out was where he was living at the time. I have also come to learn that my intuition about the town in New Jersey where he was living while he was married was correct.

But we had not spoken in over 20 years, and he was, in a sense, dead to me.

I had to bury him in my mind and heart to get over it and move on because the pain of losing someone I had been so close to was unbearable. Yet when I heard he had died I was not only shocked by the news, but even more so by my reaction. I felt like part of me was ripped away leaving a gaping hole in my core. I did not understand this and could not believe he was gone. But there I was with my phone in my hand staring at a text telling me he was. I was devastated but did not let myself grieve much because I did not know him anymore. It almost felt inappropriate. But he was on my mind, as were all the questions about what happened to him.

What I discovered over time – through sleep time visits where he thanked me for helping him during challenging times, showed me kindness and love, gave me space to share how hurt I was with the way things ended and even kissed me – is that, for me, his death brought him back to life.

His Return and the Twin Flame Journey

There have been many significant moments and synchronicities since he passed away, but the most powerful occurred during a long drive a few years ago. I decided to stop at a supermarket, and while inside the song Second Chance by 38 Special came on the radio. It stopped me dead in my tracks. The story behind the song is that shortly after we met and became close, he started dating someone else. It was painful for me at the time, but I understand it now. They had broken up and were discussing a reconciliation outside the store one day while I was working inside. While they were talking, Second Chance came on the radio and although I had such an urge to tell him how I felt, I instead listened to the song and understood that their story was not over. I took a physical and energetic step back and gave him space. I am almost positive that he did not see me or hear the song, so I do not know how he knew to use it to get my attention. When I got back in the car and continued driving, I saw him, in my mind’s eye, sitting in the back seat with his seat belt on!

The whole experience was so out of this world, I could hardly process it. But it was the beginning of this journey of remembering who we were and discovering who we are becoming. After these visits there was a pause though, and I did not feel him around me as much. He was on my mind, as was a question mark about why he had come in so strongly and made such an effort to get my attention.

The Heart Activation

In late 2024 that all changed out of nowhere. I began feeling a fluttering sensation in my heart, and an undeniable awareness of his presence. I could not get him off my mind and could feel him everywhere. Then I began to remember our story and the fluttering in my heart became increasingly intense until it shifted into a mix of grief and sadness, and pure unconditional love. This was the heart activation that is spoken about in the twin flame journey.

When I read about it, I finally began to look at our relationship differently and to understand why someone who was not physically present in my life for so many years could leave me feeling such a deep and profound sense of loss. I have always dabbled in meditation, but with this heart activation and the emotional rollercoaster that came with it, I decided it was time to commit to daily practice. It has proven to be invaluable and so very healing. Brian has visited me in meditation many times, almost daily now, and has shown me how happy he was that I received the “Second Chance” message in the supermarket.

Daily Signs and Signals

He sends me signs and synchronicities every day, including many other songs. Another significant moment occurred one night during sleep; I woke up suddenly because I felt someone touch my arm. I was startled and looked up expecting to see someone there, but there was no one. Then, in my left ear began the refrain of The Search is Over by Survivor. I immediately looked up the lyrics and cried to see that the song literally tells the story of our relationship. There is a line that says, “I took for granted, the friend I have in you.” I play it often when I miss him or doubt the connection. The doubts are real, and extremely hard to shake. But the first line of the song is, “How can I convince you, what you see is real.” I have to remind myself it is not all in my head and that he is with me. The love is real and love never dies.

I see repeated numbers, his name, his birthday, the name of the supermarket where we worked, ads for things he loved, and many other signs I ask him to send me all the time. I once asked him to show me 11:11 on the clock. I heard him say, “Ok, gimme a sec.” A few hours later I was in the car listening to Chicago’s Greatest Hits and the song “Hard to Say I’m Sorry” came on. I laughed and said to myself that it would be funny if it was him. I looked up and the clock said 11:11. I could not believe it. That was when I started to accept that he was really there and wanted me to listen. I even feel him touch me sometimes, including a time when I felt someone grab my backpack but turned around to see no one was there. I then noticed that my bag was open, and my wallet was about to fall out! I thank him (and my guides) whenever I see a sign or synchronicity, blow him kisses, and send him love every day.

The Search Is Over

The twin flame journey is not easy and is really about inner union and the healing of our own individual wounds. I came into this incarnation with a lesson and personal mission of developing genuine self-worth. The experiences and relationships I have manifested along the way have shown me love, but also rejection, betrayal, abandonment, feelings of ‘I’m not enough,’ and profound heartbreak. Brian was part of that. He has been a teacher for me in learning to love myself, him, and everyone and everything, unconditionally. Our connection is more than romance, and that has offered me an opportunity to release attachments. The grief, regret, loss, heartache, resentment, anger, and despair I have cried my way through over these last few months have changed me.

Now we heal together, with deep love, compassion, trust, empathy, and forgiveness, as we move closer to being together again, someday. This will unfold in its own time, and is an opportunity for me to practice trust, faith, patience, and surrender. He is always with me, something I am reminded of every time I listen to our song: “The search is over, you were with me all the while.”

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About EtherealSoul

EtherealSoul.net is a website dedicated to supporting individuals who have experienced the loss of a twin flame, soulmate, or deeply bonded loved one. It offers a unique blend of personal storytelling, expert guidance, and community resources focused on navigating grief, spiritual awakening, and personal transformation after such a profound loss. Originally started by Lisa Arrington to share the story of the spiritual awakening that occurred after the loss of her twin flame, Gregory, and how she found him again, the website has evolved to be a beacon of light for others by featuring the voices and stories of other twin flames who know this intensely unique journey.